All You See, Is All I'll Ever Be (brokenrecord747) wrote,
All You See, Is All I'll Ever Be

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Boring day. Later will be fun. I am picking mayabee up at her work. And I think I am spending the night at her crib. Well I am in a good mood. I went to Vagrant last night. It was great. But I think I am going to leave now. Byeya.
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for weeks now
anytime I want to talk to ethan or do anything or hang out or anything
I take a back seat to his computer
that is the number one thing in his life right now
nothing tops it
if he promises to watch a movie with me
he leaves in the middle of it
he is addicted to his computer
the second I get there....he either disappears for at least 30 minutes.....or up to 4 hours
he will come down and have sex with me and then go back to the computer
and now ethan has left me
and he says that we haven't been in a relationship for a while
he hasn't tried to even talk to me for a while
I go to his house
I ask him to do things
we hang out all the time he says
and he talks to me too when he is online
he talks to me when it is convinient
he talks to me after he reads all of his friends journals
every last one of you on this are more important to him
even random people
I have seen him hit the random button before while I was waiting my turn to talk to him
he substituted drugs for me and me for the computer
and he says that it is us that don't work anymore
he didn't try
he never calls me
when he wakes up
the first thing he thinks of is his journal
when he goes to bed
he thinks of his journal
he talks to all of you online
he reads everything you have to say
and comments on it
but he says he doesn't want to read about my probelms online
that if I have a problem to talk to him in person
but then if I go to talk
I have to wait for him to finish with his journal
every now and then he will stop for a moment and come lay down on the bed and kiss me
and say I love you
maybe have sex with me
and then returns to the computer
as I continue to wait my turn
and now he has dumped me
and says that it is us that doesn't work anymore
like a machine that broke
machines don't break
peices break
he broke
he stopped functioning
he didn't do his part
I have been trying to get him to notice me
I don't know what to do anymore
and he has left me for you
all of you