I sat up in my bedroom last night. And wondered why some things happen to some people. Is it bad luck when the bad things happen to good people? I don't get how that all works. My dad's a retard. A moron. A fuck up. He makes so many dumb choices but he can be so smart sometimes. But for the first time in my life last night, after my dad got home. I was ashamed to look him in the face, and call him dad. After what had just happened to him, I don't think anyone could have done it. SO I ran away from my problem. I walked. To Maya's house. Nobody there but Rick. So I walk around went to the park sat on the swing by my self for about 15 minutes. And then went home. And now the next day I sit. And wait for this whole illusive memory to die.